Considering Polyamory? Here’s ONE THING I wish I knew
When my wife brought up the concept of polyamory to me, I didn't think that anyone else could relate.
Here’s the ONE THING I wish I knew when I was considering polyamory and at the beginning of my polyamory journey:
You are not alone.
When my wife brought up the concept of polyamory to me, I didn't think that anyone else could relate.
I was confused.
Actually, I was angry.
My initial reaction to her asking me about it was a resounding “F*ck no.”
Seriously, that’s what I said.
Thankfully, however, I had also recently begun meditating.
Now that might not sound relevant, but it was. It truly changed everything.
I was actually able to sit and contemplate what was happening.
I asked Alisa for more time and she gave it to me, so down the rabbit hole I went.
Eventually, I only saw two paths before me...
The first path was the one that appeared easy to me. It involved "us" staying "us".
But there was a problem with that path...my wife had already told me what she wanted.
Would I have preferred for her to keep it in until our seventies or eighties...or to never tell me what she truly wanted?
No. At the time, this was a hard pill to swallow, but the truth is that I would not have wanted her to keep this a secret from me.
My wife also made it clear that this was not intended to "fix" our relationship (a relationship that was strained predominantly because of my general detachment and irritability...but I’ll share more on that in a future story).
Alisa had simply reached a point where she had the courage to risk it all in exchange for sharing her desires honestly. And for that, ironically, I'm grateful (and also for what a badass I’m married to).
I'm also so grateful that she never made it an ultimatum...and that if I was not on board with polyamory she would still be all-in with me. We'd do whatever we needed to do to mend and grow our relationship together.
I couldn’t ignore all of that, and it made it clear that taking the "easy" path simply didn’t feel right. It would be a decision based purely on negative emotions, such as jealousy, insecurity, inferiority, possessiveness, and fear (to name just a few).
Then there was the second path.
It became obvious to me that this was simply a path of love...more love, limitless love, and unconditional love. It was the path of more honesty, freedom, and authenticity too.
I think you know which path I chose.
Perhaps it’s why you’re here reading this now.
And if you’re considering whether a journey into polyamory is right for you, just know that no one can tell you that except for yourself.
So leave a comment here or email me with any questions (or just to say hello).
And for right now, remember this: I've been there and
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Enjoy the journey,
Mike
“If you’re considering whether a journey into polyamory is right for you, just know that no one can tell you that except for yourself.” -MM