Our Love is
Is love different from what we've been told?
Welcome, Freethinker — take a deep breath.
Today, I share a love letter that I wrote to Alisa last month (we have been married for 16 years and polyamorous for 8 of them).
I believe that loving someone simply means wanting them to be joyful and fulfilled.
What do YOU believe? (and were your beliefs chosen… or given?)
“Our Love Is” - A love letter
Our love is not just accepting you as you are,
But loving you BECAUSE of the way you are.
Not wanting to change you,
Loving all of you—
The quirks, the moods, the rising and falling tides of you…
And knowing you don’t want to change me.
Of course, we will change,
And we surely have changed.
But love remains.
Our love is unconditional,
That means NO conditions.
Not I’ll love you if A,
Or when B happens,
Or as long as X and Y.
No.
I love you even if you don’t please me,
Or need me,
Or love me.
I love you, not because you make me happy…
I love you for the simple fact that it makes me happy when you’re happy,
Even if your happiness has nothing to do with me.
You want to be with me and I want to be with you,
But I also want you to enjoy being with others,
And being alone…
Just being.
Exactly as you want for me.
I love you for all of you,
Sometimes moody and erratic, sometimes centered, usually dancing.
And always unique, adventurous, wild, and untamed.
Not the yin to my yang,
You are yin,
And you are yang.
As am I.
Our love is a celebration.
And I know you want nothing for me but my happiness,
Whether or not it involves you…
And that is not a pill most can swallow.
In this world of attachments, fears, insecurities, possessiveness, jealousy, and the needy, lackfulness of grasping for a you-complete-me romance.
You are complete, as you are — with or without me.
As am I, exactly as I am.
We are both cage breakers,
Shelters in the storm,
And open ears for all of our many, many ideas.
True soul mates choosing to enjoy this ride in each other’s company.
Independent and free, yet together,
And better for it.
Generating more love in this world because of our love.
Always bringing out the best in one another,
Often through the hardest conversations,
The toughest lessons,
And the image of each other we cannot yet see in ourselves.
Our love is.
No conditions.
All conditions.
Not because of anything.
Because of everything.
~~~
For Alisa Messeroff
By Mike Messeroff
Tamarindo, Costa Rica
February 14th, 2026
If this resonated, share the love with someone who could use it today.
Until next time, Freethinkers… stay present, be pleasant, and have the best day of your life 🙏
Mike Messeroff
Founder of The Carpe Diem Company
High-Performance Personal Freedom Coach
Creator of Self-Hospitality
Author of Dogs Get It: Advice I learned from my best friend